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Bill Fowler's avatar

My mother was widowed in the mid 60’s with two young boys left to raise. No formal education, part time job as a Dr’s receptionist.

Her next job, full time, as a clerk in a hardware store 95 cents an hour.

I recall the minimum wage debates. The sky was going to fall and businesses would bankrupt. By 1970 it was $1.40 hour. Then the big leap in ‘73/74 to $1.75 and $2.

So my mother took that minor lift, paid taxes on it and used it to train to work at a desk in a hospital ward. Net effect, lifted herself a bit, paid more taxes.

In turn she took and saved that next lift and retrained a final time as a medical record librarian.

She likely never had a family by choice but rather circumstances so we can’t say she chose her life.

She lived modestly, very modestly. The first home she bought was in 1963 at 43 years old. Her husband was 53. They didn’t come out of the gate expecting to own a home.

Not that I’m countering your essay rather giving a different take.

A friend once said “describe the cup in front of us. I did. He said well the cup I see is different, mine has a handle. I could’ve the handle from my view.

The life we choose or that’s chosen is malleable if you wish it to be.

I agree the floor living expenses are high in the major cities, certainly outside my thoughts to entertain.

We live in a modest home, 800sq.ft. We saved for a small garage.

Our life revolves around community and family and yes we are the fortunate ones.

But we chose that. We chose to have one of us work part time so the kids were cared for. We chose old vehicles to drive.

All this is a way of saying there are ways of affording that which you truly want. It doesn’t mean you get it all.

There’s a “thought” by William Ellery Channing that has guided me since I first saw it 50+ years ago

To live content with small means.

To seek elegance rather than luxury,

and refinement rather than fashion.

To be worthy not respectable,

and wealthy not rich.

To study hard, think quietly, talk gently,

act frankly, to listen to stars, birds, babes,

and sages with open heart, to bear all cheerfully,

do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never.

In a word, to let the spiritual,

unbidden and unconscious,

grow up through the common.

This is to be my symphony.

Cindy Hardy's avatar

Another childless 60something here. Sharing the hard laugh with you, and the sorrow, and especially the message to youth: this is not your failing.

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